What is your earliest memory?
Getting a post office play set as a present on the day my brother was born in 1972. Such a good present!
What did you want to be when you were growing up?
There are lots of objects from the past in this show. One is a book I wrote aged 10 called My Life. In chapter 6, My Dream, I say I would love to be a director of children’s television programmes. God knows what 10-year-old me thought that role would entail. 55-year-old me has no idea. The most consistent thing I wanted to be as a child was a dog owner.
Who would play you in the film of your life?
Young me: One of my nieces. They both get me as we are all similarly wired.
Older me: Larry David or Kathy Burke
What is the worst job you’ve done?
I once had a job scrubbing the blood off theatre floors at my local hospital. I’m a bit squeamish and I had to be in work by 6am which was grim. But I did enjoy using the floor buffering machine. So, I’ll go with working behind the bar in the Eagle and Child pub in Oxford. I struggled with the absence of a queuing system and having people stare at me as II tried and failed to pull a decent pint. It was also the shortest job I’ve ever had. I left after one night.
What would your superpower be?
The ability to have a perfectly still mind at will.
Which living person do you most admire, and why?
David Byrne is too obvious. So I’ll go for Mavis Staples, the American R&B and gospel singer and civil rights activist. I admire so much about Mavis. Her artistry, her love of collaboration, her role in the American civil rights movement in support of Dr. Martin Luther King, her warm heart, her persistent positivity in the fight against injustice and bigotry, her commitment to community. I could go on. She’s amazing live, too. Mavis for president!!
What is your most treasured possession?
I really love objects that look or feel nice and connect me to places, people and memories. I don’t want to choose one! I’ll choose three. 1) My bass guitar (I only started learning bass last year and now I’m in a band. It’s never too late!). 2) A kitchen stool covered in pigeon themed fabric that my friend Paul traditionally upholstered for me. I love pigeons and I love Paul and I quite like sitting down these days so it was the perfect gift. 3) A letter that Victoria Wood wrote to me in response to fan mail that I sent her as a teenager. I think I can still recite most of the sketches from As Seen on TV. I’ve just made myself laugh thinking about one…’we think we’ve got hens in the skirting boards’…
What was your best kiss?
I love good kisses. I don’t want to rank them. I will say that Woody (the staffy I share with his Other Mothers) gives the sweetest stealth kisses. He’s not allowed to lick faces and he is a good boy so he generally doesn’t. But occasionally, the love just bursts out of him and he gives me a big smacker. I let him as I don’t mind at all. Don’t tell his Other Mothers!
Describe yourself in three words
Curious; Caring; Analytical; Contrary
Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
Can I just say one more thing?
What makes you unhappy?
Loads of things. I’m quite in tune with my unhappy side. Top three might be: cruelty; indifference to suffering; social situations I’m not prepared for.
To whom would you most like to say sorry, and why?
I say sorry all the time. I think I’m up to date with my apologies.
What does love feel like?
Lots of things: delicious; overwhelming; peaceful; painful; joyous; a big responsibility; exciting; the whole point.
When did you last cry, and why?
Yesterday in the rehearsal studio. Jo, the director, asked me to talk about the French sociologist Pierre Bourdieu. I got all emotional because I consider him a dear friend and feel understood by him, even though he is dead and I’ve never met him. (LOLing at myself as I type this. But it’s true!)
What single thing would improve the quality of your life?
The ability to move Newcastle and London closer to Newport. Failing that, a van that works.
What was the last lie that you told?
I don’t tell lies……
Tell us a secret
I don’t think I have any left. I’m pretty open with those I’m close to, I had therapy for years and the rest are in the show.
What is the most important lesson life has taught you?
There’s still time.
A Brief History of Difference is at The Riverfront, Newport 21/22 February and Chapter Arts Centre, Cardiff 27/28 February and 1 March.